THE INFINITE

I awoke this morning to my alarm going off with its irritating, "BEEP!..BEEP!..BEEP!", as my arm spastically felt its way in a blind effort to hit the snooze for now the THIRD time. Rolling over and looking at the clock, I found that I now had approximately 35 minutes to get cleaned up, dressed, get the house put together, take care of our dog Zeke and get on the road to work. Jolting up, I turned on the TV as I began my hurried routing, and that's when I heard it -- "Today marks the anniversary of 9/11". For just those first few minutes upon awakening, I'd not remembered. I topped what I was doing, (as my mind began to set aside the trivial issues of the morning), and grasped that quite literally, thousands upon thousands of people knew EXACTLY what today was the MOMENT that they awoke this morning: It was a day that they lost someone they loved - It was a day they witnessed something first hand, that changed them forever - It was a day they survived something that so many others didn't - It was a day they risked everything for their fellow man. Sitting down a moment, as the gravity of it all sank into my consciousness; I could only pray for them to be comforted and strengthened on this day of memorial. 

Certainly everyone was impacted by what happened in this nation September 11, 2001. I don't know anyone who doesn't remember exactly where they were the moment they became aware that passenger airliners were flying or had flown into the World Trade Center - Towers I and II; into the Pentagon; and into a field in Shanksville, PA.

I was in my hotel room by Mobile Bay, in Mobile, AL, having just gotten out of the shower and drying my hair, when I saw on the television screen, a plane flying into the World Trade Center. I recall initially thinking it was a movie preview and slowly realizing that what I was seeing was real. Turning up the sound, I sat on the corner of the bed and listened, as they new anchor, (fighting how own emotion), attempted to articulate what was happening in live time. At that point both towers had been hit. I called family and then went to the lobby of the hotel; as I could not stand to watch what was unfolding alone. 

Walking towards the lobby I saw about 15 military personnel talking to staff at the front desk and then I saw to my right, a group of people around a television, where I went to watch, what in a few moments would be the greatest tragedy I ever witnessed until then, unfold. As the towers collapsed, I remember my ears ringing and I could hear my own crying, (as if distanced from myself), and then, (like the volume being turned back up), became aware of the cries and gasps of those around me. What I recall most is that no one was really talking, but rather, total strangers were weeping and simply embracing one another.

I came to realize that what happened in the hotel lobby that morning, was that all of us were being confronted with something infinite and trying to grasp it with a finite mind. We were witnessing true evil, darkness and depravity on a scale, (that likely in the lifetime of those present), had never been experienced before. I have found that a natural impulsive response to such senselessly vile acts is to attempt to understand it with the use of our intellect. The truth is however, our intellect can only go so far in the search for such understanding - but can certainly never fully comprehend the acts of that day or of any other kind of depraved indifference that we see in our world today.

With access to news, information and images 24/7 it is easy to bombard ourselves with this infinite darkness, which makes way and opens the door to feelings of hopelessness, fear, anxiousness, anger and sadness that often lead to a skewed view of the world, our lives and our future.

The truth is though...this is only the darker side of something infinite, because there is another Infinite that is so much greater and so much MORE powerful - which is an Infinite God. What do I mean by that? The infiniteness of: Love - which can be seen immediately in the eyes of parents as they bring their little ones into the world and see them for the first time, being filled with an awareness that nothing will EVER matter more to them than this precious little life; Forgiveness - which defies all logic in its ability to truly move beyond circumstances and acts which would seem impossible, if not unfathomable; Hope - which is the miracle of it! It is what allows the human spirit to prevail through circumstances beyond comprehension, enabling them to rise above and not be bound or held down by them.

The greatest darkness can be dispelled in an INSTANT by the tiniest amount of light; The deepest resentment can be annihilated with the smallest step towards forgiveness; The loneliest moment of hopelessness, can vanish with one small word of encouragement! I think today it behooves us to remember that everyday...ALL DAY...we are surrounded by, and have access to, the Infinate - Who will always provide unlimited peace, hope and restoration with as little as one spoken request.

(c) 2014-2021 Rebecca Balko

THE LIGHTHOUSE

The Lighthouse has been the subject of poems, songs, legends and movies. The first recorded lighthouse was the Pharaohs lighthouse in Alexandria Egypt. It was built approximately 280BC and was more than 450ft tall. It had a giant Poseidon, (Greek god of the sea), at the top where a huge bonfire was lit each night and was visible from more than 30 miles away. It was so big that it was named one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. This tower was used more than 1,500 years before it was destroyed by an earthquake in 1303AD. The earliest known written reference to a lighthouse is found in the Greek epic “The Iliad” dating back to 1200 BC, where descriptions are given about a forerunner of the lighthouse proper - beacon fires - which were kindled high upon hilltops.

The main purpose of the lighthouse has always been to provide a signal - Warning mariners to steer, (while they are in a dense fog or dark nights), away from cliffs, land, shorelines, coral reefs and other hazardous areas. The means by which these lighthouses can be identified is that they are different shapes and sizes, as well as being painted with different paint schemes. In addition to this, each lighthouse displays a light pattern that is unique from all the others in the area. This leads us to the second purpose for the lighthouse, which is to provide navigation, allowing mariners to know where they are in relation to the land mass that they are approaching or adjacent to. (Example: If a mariner sees a tall lighthouse with black and white stripes that are spiraled from the top down, then they know they are off the North Carolina coast town of Buxton and they are passing Diamond Shoals.) The third and final purpose of the lighthouse is to enable mariners to know how fast they are going. This is done by knowing how far apart the lighthouses are and measuring their speed by the time it takes to pass each one.

All lighthouses have the above mentioned in common, likewise the different parts that make them up are nearly identical in design all around the globe and they are as follows: A beacon (light) at the top which is in a large room with many windows (lantern room); A service room (which stores supplies); A watch room (where the keeper can watch from at night); A gallery deck; A lightning rod and a ball vent at the very top (to allow heat to escape). The other commonality is that all lighthouses are built to be sturdy and on a strong foundation, so that they will be able to withstand the elements and continue to shine brightly throughout any storm. Lighthouses continue to serve as symbols of hope to this day.

Interesting in how much something like a lighthouse can relate to our lives. I mean, how many of us have had this experience? – People in our lives that provided direction, warning and guidance. Some of the people were located in specific places so that we knew the type of direction being offered, (such as teachers, religious leaders and coaches). Some people helped us to realize the direction we were heading in, (like family, friends, and counselors), and some of these people, (like a sponsor and even people who we did not even know), provided a light in the darkness giving us hope that we were not completely lost, nor adrift and alone. What would have become of us without these lighthouses placed in our lives? Surely we would have been more severely damaged, perhaps never making it out of that state of incomprehensible demoralization and perishing in a sea of hopelessness.

It is intriguing how much the rooms of recovery are similar to lighthouses along the shores and waterways. They come in all shapes and sizes – some are small, some large, some are located in churches while still others can be found in even the most obscure of locations. Yet there they stand, a beacon shining the light of hope - not restrained to serve only “some”, but rather to be available to serve all who desire direction. Just as every lighthouse has a keeper in the watch room, so to do the rooms of recovery – you will find those who are always there, watching for new faces to offer help, guidance and a safe place. There are the volunteers who take the calls of those who are often lost, at all hours of the night or day, offering the light of hope in what might be their darkest hour. We have our “service rooms” which store needed supplies, including literature which lays out clear cut paths that can enable us to avert the treacherous terrain that often lies just out of our field of vision – but has been seen by those who have traveled before us.

A Pulitzer Prize winner for Poetry in 1990, (Charles Simic), wrote this quote:

“Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships”

I scanned the internet, initially attempting to understand what Simic was referring to and finding no answer. I re-read it again, allowing myself the freedom to draw from it my own interpretation, so I will share what came to me:  Being an alcoholic no longer drinking, I began the process, (with the guidance and direction of my God and those whom He placed in my life), of building a lighthouse in my heart. While the rest of the world could go about its way creating and developing plans to build their proverbial ships, I would be building a lighthouse that would first require a firm foundation to be established. I had been given the opportunity to focus my attention on what I found to be of far greater value and importance…developing a relationship and reliance upon the God, (that beacon of light if you will), who would provide me with a sense of direction through all that would be seen and unseen in this life – so that when the day came to build my own ship, I would be able to have safe travels and enjoy the journey.

©2011-2022 Rebecca Balko