Photo by Johannes Plenio from Pexels
Depending on what part of the country you live in, most likely you've either experienced, (or come close to experiencing), at least one bad storm in your life. Living in Palm Beach Florida, the one that truly aroused my own undivided attention and fear, was Hurricane Dorian, which was a Catagory 5, back in 2019. It was initially projected to hit Palm Beach, but ended up sitting on top of the Bahama's. In fact the Smithsonian Magazine had this to say: 'Hurricane Dorian struck land in Elbow Cay, Abaco Islands, at 12:40pm ET on Sunday afternoon. It slunk across the Abaco Islands to Grand Bahama Island where the eye of the storm stayed parked for 48 hours into Tuesday afternoon, according to NOAA. The storm moved only 30 miles in 30 hours, report CNN's Patrick Oppmann, Jason Hanna and Chistina Maxouris.' Being something I'd never experienced or imagined, it was really frightening. We were in Dallas Texas for an Auburn football game and ended up leaving to return and prepare our home for what seemed inevitable to come. Looking back it's easier to see that coming home actually put us directly in the way of danger, but as we'd watched that monster looming off the coast of our hometown, I could think of nothing else.
We all have storms don't we? All sorts of storms, that can so quickly become all encompassing, demanding and make it so difficult to see a BIG picture, often feeling surrounded on all sides. Here are just a few of the storms we may face:
Addiction
Relapse
Grief
Loss
Health (Physical / Mental / Spiritual)
Relationships
Finances
Pandemic
Life...(and the list goes on)
Most likely as you read this, you're easily able to identify with one or more that have been an unwanted experience that came into your life. There is a big difference in a hard rain and a tropical cyclone - So while these things aren't always immediately big - what is it that qualifies them as having reached 'storm status'? I will tell you. It is when conditions change leading us to become aware that not only are we NOT in control of 'IT'...But rather it IS in control of US!
The problems these storms cause can be broken down into 3 areas:
1. Our overall sense of well-being becomes contingent on what the current state of our storm is. (i.e. - If they are not ok - then 'I' am not ok: "My friend has been diagnosed with COVID and I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't go to work or do anything because I'm so upset. Once i know that they are ok, THEN I will be fine!")
2. We can allow the circumstances of the storm to define who we are and lose our own sense of identity.
(i.e. - When asked how YOU are doing, you begin to reference the person or circumstance you are dealing with in order to answer, perhaps by saying: "Well, Bob relapsed - so I'm doing just awful! If HE would just get it together the I could be ok!")
3. We can make the storm a priority over ALL ELSE, even when we stand NO CHANCE of affecting the outcome by doing so.
(i.e. - "I don't have the time or strength to deal with my boss and landlord - John is in jail and I HAVE to get him out and get him back home. Everything else will just have to wait!")
So then, what is PEACE?
Well, two definitions from Merriam-Webster are:
(A) Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions
and
(B) Harmony in personal relations.
The peace that's needed, is not simply a feeling - because feelings are fickle and easily swayed by circumstances. This peace is the steady and exists in the midst of our storms. It is an internal, unshakable and consistent assurance that: (1) We will be OK (2) That we are NOT alone and (3) We can LET GO, and LET GOD do for us, what we can not do for ourselves.
How do we obtain this peace?
Most of us have experienced being disillusioned and let down in the past by what we thought brought us peace - things like: Relationships, Finances, Career, Health, etc... - only to find that as soon as something rocked that boat, ALL BETS WERE OFF and peace was but a memory! This was followed by the idea that WE could find a way to fix it... eventually crashing into the reality that we could not fix it all. The ongoing efforts to do something we don't have the power to control leads only to restlessness, irritability and discontentment. Sounds bad right?
BUT...it is at THIS place, (often of frustration and despair), where the journey of finding the peace we need can come...the place where 'we end' and 'God begins'. It starts with understanding our own limitations and needs. Then recognizing that the solutions to our needs can only be found by going OUTSIDE of ourselves to get them in various venues such as: Traditional 12 Step Support; Faith based support; Clinical support with a therapist; etc...
This is then followed by putting those solutions INTO ACTION, which will always produce results. As these results come from the action being taken, we will begin to grow spiritually, and it is through THAT growth, where the peace we long for begins to build and flourish.
©2021 Rebecca Balko
