POWERLESS TO POWER ~ STEP ONE

By: Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

The 12 Steps are: 12 ACTION based applicable solutions to ALL of the problems we face in our lives. The foundation upon which these 12 principles rest is:     Willingness, Honesty and Open-Mindedness

Willingness: Doing those things that I do not feel like and/or want to do. Taking action contrary to my feelings. (If I wanted to…it would be called “eagerness” and thankfully there is no requirement to be eager)

Honesty: Honesty with one’s self. (Not referring to honesty with others…but rather an internal honesty)

Open-Mindedness:    Considering what I hear before trashing it as being worthless. (Does not mean blindly embracing what someone tells you – no matter how qualified they may be – But rather considering what someone says, regardless of how unqualified they may be.)          

Step 1:                

We admitted we were powerless over ______________ – that our lives had become unmanageable.

In this first step, an internal acknowledgement is made that my best efforts to control ___________ - failed; that in my own hands, using my own strength – those things I value and have valued the most, are to some degree, neglected and/or damaged as a direct result of ______________. It is in this step where the first “chip” is made in the exterior façade of “I’m FINE”, and where self-honesty is first used.

In this principle the very first act that must happen is that of “admitting”. While on the surface this may not seem a big deal, the truth is that if we confuse the word “admit” with the word “accept”…THEN it can be far more difficult to do. So let’s look at the difference in these two words:

Admit:            Confess to be true – typically with reluctance

Accept:           Believe or come to recognize as valid or correct

So thankfully, to begin this journey towards restoration of wholeness in our lives, we need not be at a place of “Acceptance” with our limitation(s), but rather only have so much as a “reluctant admission”.

Next we look at what it is exactly that we are admitting: That we are in fact POWERLESS over ____________. Powerless is a powerful word isn’t it?

Powerless:      Without Power

Powerful:       Having great power, force or authority

An absolute truth is that one can’t be Powerful and Powerless at the same time. So either you DO have the power over a situation or you DO NOT have power over a situation. (This is not to say you can’t 'affect' a situation by the exertion of your will) Understanding this truth, then allows for the journey to proceed!

Affect:            To act on or influence

The second part of this first principle is admitting that the byproduct of the on-going area of powerlessness – is the part(s) of your life that have become unmanageable. The word, “become” is important here, as it helps to clarify that those parts of your life being affected adversely aren’t “just happening”…but are the “by-product” or “result” of something.

Manageable:              Able to be managed or controlled    

Unmanageable:         Difficult or impossible to manage, control or use

It is important to note that the identification of powerlessness and the resulting unmanageability is NOT a negative thing…in fact it is the beginning of revelation, hope, freedom and wholeness! You see, as long as we only look at our problem areas and continue attempting to reassert “our solutions”, (the same ones that have failed to produce long term results and change), then we will continue to see the area(s) of unmanageability grow as our sense of hope dwindles. On the other hand – by identifying and admitting our area(s) of powerlessness and unmanageability – we then gain a footing to begin moving in a new direction, taking new action, thereby gaining new and lasting results!

As we close, a reminder note: It is in this step where the first “chip” is made in the exterior façade of “I’m FINE”, and where self-honesty is first used. How often do you say, (in reply to someone asking how you are doing), “Oh – I’m fine”? Seriously, how likely is it that you could have an arm lopped off, your car wrecked and your house burned down and you would STILL answer that question ~ “Oh – I’m fine” ?? Really quick I want to give you an acronym for “fine” and encourage you to use this as a tool to build upon in communicating to yourself and others “how you are doing”: 

F          -           Frustrated

I           -           Insecure

N         -           Nervous

E         -           Exhausted

 In closing: Ultimately it is our choice whether we use new solutions with new results or continue to try and make old broken solutions that don’t work – work. The truth is, the goal should be to strive in the area of new solutions, even if you hang on to the old ones. If you will, you’ll find that the new solutions you gain will cause you to be more likely to let go of those that don’t.

 What to do: (This is something you can work on in your own time and I encourage you before starting and after finishing to give yourself time for prayer and meditation) 

1. What is it in YOUR life that you have tried to control, but realize you are powerless over? 

2. In what way(s) has this caused unmanageability in your life?

 

 ©2015-2023 Rebecca Balko