YOU ARE DEARLY LOVED!!

 

Photo by: Mayur Gala

Love: A strong positive emotion of regard and affection.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay 

Love is an interesting word isn’t it? I mean the word “love” is used for so many things these days. For example; “I love chocolate cake!” I mean I REALLY love it! Have you ever met someone that you didn’t know that well, but maybe they were really funny and as you spoke about them you said, “Man…I love that guy!”? We love people, TV shows and music. We love certain types of cars, places that we go and things that we do. So the word 'love' in and of its self isn’t always necessarily used to represent deep and meaningful things.

While I am quite guilty of using the word love in this manner, it wasn’t until a short while back that I really thought about it. About how, by using the word love to describe things that were, (for all intents and purposes), 'trivial' in my life, I was perhaps taking away from what love really is. So I got to looking into it. I heard a speaker many years ago get up to speak at a meeting; She introduced herself and then said something I had never heard before. She said, “My name is Rebecca and I am the beloved of God.” I have to say, that although I had no idea exactly what she meant by that, I REALLY liked it! It just sounded … special. About a year ago I began to research this very topic of 'Love”, being “Loved” and being the “Beloved”; what I found was quite profound for myself and I hope may  perhaps be the same for someone else reading this.

The Greek had four words for love and they are as follows;

I.       Eros            -        Erotic love (sexual love)

II.      Storge         -        Family love (Love within a family)

III.     Phila           –        Brotherly friendship and affection.

IV.     Agape         –        Perfect love

Now Agape love is what really caught my eye. Its definition was quite long and required more than just a casual “read through”. (see below)

Love that loves without changing. Self giving w/out expecting re-payment. So great it can be given to the unlovable or unappealing. It loves even when rejected. It loves because it wants to. Agape love has little to do with emotion, but has much to do with self denial for the sake of another.

Image by Bessi from Pixabay

I have found and experienced Agape love in only a few instances; I experienced it with God, within the Fellowship, have received it from my parents, and experienced it towards the children in my life & towards other people in my life. You know for me, my first really personal concept of God came through my stepson at that time. I thought, “Why do we have kids?” I came to believe that it was the one physical way for me to experience even a glimpse, of how God views me. I mean, is there really anything your child could do to actually make you “love” them more than you already do? Could they REALLY do anything that would cause you to “love” them less? Of course not! You love them because they are yours! Sure…they can make you proud or even disappointed…but the love simply is what it is…Agape.

So we know what the definition of love is and the various ways in which we love. But what about 'Being Loved'…just how do we feel loved? Well, we feel loved by what we see, what we hear and how we are treated. If I’m confiding in someone and while doing this they are TOTALLY blowing me off…I’m not going to feel very loved. I would most likely be feeling rather insignificant at that moment. But let’s say that this person is TOTALLY listening to me, sharing with me, encouraging me and supporting me…I am going feel really different – I am going to feel loved.

But then we have that word ~BELOVED...

~ To be dearly loved, most treasured, adored, cherished. (A deep level of intimacy) 

Image by Jess Bailey from Pixabay

When I first read that I thought, “You know, there are people in my life who are TRULY my beloved and there is NOTHING that I would not do for them.”  But then I looked at it,(remembering what that speaker had said so long ago), “I am the beloved of God”. Such an easy idea, that for me, was SO HARD to grasp! My heart leapt as I read those words again, realizing that 'I' am God’s beloved. Through all my acts of self-centeredness and selfishness, I was dearly loved…through my many acts of defiance and rebellion, I was most treasured…through my collapse into self destruction, I was adored… and through my brokenness, I was cherished! Realizing I can never 'do' anything SO GOOD as to make God love me more…nor can I ever 'do' anything SO BAD as to cause God to love me less…God loves me because I am His! I am the beloved.

Martin Luther King said this:

“Agape is understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill towards all men. Agape is an overflowing love which seeks nothing in return. Theologians would say that it is the love of God operating in the human heart. When you rise to love on this level, you love all men not because you like them, not because their ways appeal to you, but you love them because God loves them.”

In my own recovery, something quite interesting began. While I initially came to understand and see myself as God’s beloved…something happened…a change in my heart… God became my beloved as well.

I thought with us coming upon our national holiday where we celebrate love and those with whom we have it; I would make this contribution to the word itself and share in the joy of that awakening ~ that I first came to believe and have now come to know…We are God’s Beloved and are DEARLY LOVED!                                          

©2008-2022 Rebecca Balko

THE CORNERSTONE

 

Photo by: Max Oh

Most of us go through our lives desiring to do the right things by: taking care of our responsibilities; accomplishing goals we set for ourselves or those set for us by others; caring for our families; contributing to our communities; doing well at our jobs and so on. Yet, although we desire to do these things, (with or without success), often our exterior may look fairly well, while in truth, our personal journey can often feel very much like hauling around a bag of rocks that rests heavily upon our backs. Inside of this bag, each rock represents various pains such as guilt, shame, remorse, regrets, worry, anger, fear, pride, secret hurts, broken relationships, shattered dreams and so much more – ALL heavy and burdensome. Indeed this bag has weighed upon our hearts, our minds and our very souls…drastically hindering any lasting or internal progress. These rocks created a constant feeling of being pulled down and at times, of drowning in a relentless sea of hopelessness, creating an often debilitating fear of being overcome by the weight of it all, as if even one more thing would surly crush our very existence.

Photo by: Matteo Badini

The solutions that we come up with on our own, are often derived from a sickened state of delusional thinking to have just one more drink…one more drug…one more game to gamble on…one more binge and purge…one more purchase that we can’t afford…one more reckless relationship…one more hour blocking life out by immersing ourselves on the internet, watching TV or playing video games - rather than using that precious time talking to and enjoying our children, spouse, friends and living life… the list can go on. Each time believing that THIS TIME our solution would make our bag of rocks become a little lighter or perhaps even go away all together. Ultimately though, the truth found was that with each drink, each drug, each gamble, each bite, each purchase, each escape, etc…we added another rock to our personal bag of burdens and continued to spiral downward.

Photo by: Chang Duong

Today however, there is good news in that, there lies before each man and woman - a choice to live a NEW LIFE! One in which the bag of rocks can be forever left behind, because we are no longer alone in this journey. Around all of us, (no matter where we live), there are communities of all kinds, filled with people who desire to travel this journey of life “together” rather than alone. By connecting with other people we find that the load is made easier when shared with another. Not only this, but there is a God who is more than willing to remove that bag of burdens from our backs and replace it with a single rock, for us to instead place as our life’s cornerstone.

Do you know what a cornerstone is or its significance?

The cornerstone is also known as the “foundation stone”. It is the first stone that is placed in the construction of a masonry foundation. It’s important because all of the other stones will be set in place from it and ultimately establish the position of the entire structure that is being built. You will often find that the cornerstone of certain buildings will have some sort of engraving upon them which signify its importance and stand as a point of remembrance.

Photo by: Andrik Langfield

The beauty of this life is that as long as we are breathing air, we always have the right, the ability and the means by which to change…all that is needed to put it in motion is our willingness to stop trying to run the show by ourselves and do something different. TODAY can be that day…the day to lay down that bag of rocks you’ve been hauling around and replace it with a single rock – that will represent the cornerstone upon which you desire to construct this new life. Your cornerstone may be God, your child, your spouse, Hope, Freedom, Family, Love or anything else…it is for YOU to decide. I will suggest that you obtain a smooth stone, and write upon it what you’ve chosen - to motivate you, strengthen you and remind you daily why and upon what, you are building your new life. Then place it somewhere significant and visible to you daily, as a symbolic cornerstone, a point of remembrance to serve as a motivation to continue this new course and to commemorate this new and wonderful journey you have begun.

©2014-2022 Rebecca Balko