FINDING BALANCE WITH the EMOTIONS of RESENTMENT and FEAR (Part 1)

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Step 4:  Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

In Step 4 we begin the first of 9 action-based steps, that will be taken WITH God, to bring about personal accountability, repentance, (sincere regret or remorse), and healing - leading to a deeper intimacy with our Creator through the identification of experiences and personal role in the areas of: Resentment; Fear; Pride; and Sex. This week we will be looking at the areas of Resentment and Fear. Before we do though, we will first look at what is happening in the course of this particular step, through breaking it down, by defining key words such as:

Searching:  To examine carefully or thoroughly in order to discover; To look into, question or scrutinize; To look at or beneath the superficial aspects of in order to discover motive, reaction, feeling and basic truth.

Fearless:    Without fear; Not afraid

Moral:         Founded on the fundamental principles of right conduct rather than legalities, enactment or custom.

Inventory:  A detailed list of articles, goods, property, etc...(history) identifying: work in progress; Finished goods and stock; Comes from the Latin, (Inventus/Invenire), which means: 'To come upon or find'.

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So to summarize: In Step 4 we are going to fearlessly search out things that have occurred in our lives, as well as our own conduct, identifying those various aspects of our lives in order to determine the parts that are healthy or unhealthy, and then what to do with what is found. I will point out here that although this step does not directly say 'God is part of it'...it is implied through the wording of the step itself.

Explanation:    As a human being I have 4 instinctual emotions, (Given to me by my Creator at birth: Resentment/ Fear/ Pride and Sex), and each of these I am fully capable of experiencing without relying upon God. HOWEVER...these emotions left unbalanced lead to problems, (which we will discuss further shortly), and so we NEED the qualities of God to have balance. God's qualities are: Love; Patience; Tolerance; Courage; Humility; and Wisdom. So for me to be able to 'fearlessly' inventory my past conduct and perhaps, painful things that have happened to me, (that up until now I may or may not have dealt with), I am going to need Courage...(i.e. ~ I am going to need GOD!)

So today we will begin by looking at the first of these instinctual emotions known as: Resentment - which comes from the Latin Prefix (re), which means again, (as to repeat) and (sentire), which means to feel. When we are experiencing resentment, we are actually 're-playing' in our mind what happened to us and 're-feeling' that experience. The reason that this emotion, when left unbalanced, can be so harmful, is that what we are actually doing in our mind, is attempting to change the past. You see, we don't resent the future, (because it hasn't happened), and we can't resent the present, (it's not possible). We can only resent the past.  So a person ends up in an unhealthy loop of emotion with no solution available to them because there is NO going back in time.  

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There are 3 types of Resentment:  

 

(1) Resentment - outside of self

(2) Self-Resentment - comes from unresolved resentment and is when our anger is turned inward

(3) Self Pity - is the final phase of unresolved self-resentment, where self-imposed emotional and/or physical isolation begins. (i.e. - Poor me! Poor me! Pour me another drink!)

Unhealthy resentment stems from an 'emotion led' way of living: (Reactions, Emotions and Feelings), as opposed to an 'action led' way of living: (Actions, Thinking, Reasoning and Planning)

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that resentment is the number one offender that destroys more alcoholics than anything else. But that truth is not limited to alcoholics - it is for everyone! Think about it...when you have harbored anger and bitterness, did it lead to fullness in your life or a lack of it? The destruction from resentment can be seen in broken families and friendships, lost jobs and dreams, etc...

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You might be thinking, "Well, it sounds like resentment is not a good thing - so why would God give it to us?" There actually is a God given purpose for resentment and that was for our survival and to make us competitive - so that we might have success and fulfillment in our lives. (Survival Example: When a newborn is hungry or in need, what does it do? It gets angry and cries until someone figures out what it needs and takes care of it. The baby is not concerned with how tired the caregiver is or what else is going on. It has a need that it can't communicate or take care of and it will get angrier and angrier until that need is met. This design was to ensure the child would survive. / Competitive Example: If someone wanted a job and was qualified for a promotion, but didn't prepare and lost the opportunity to someone less qualified who did prepare...the healthy response would be knowing that the failure was due to lack of personal preparation, (identifying the problem) and determination to be prepared when the next opportunity came, (corrective action). 

*The actions of love, tolerance and patience balance the emotion of resentment* 

In the inventory we identify FOUR areas:

 

(1) The people, principles or institutions with whom we have had resentment

(2) What each one did/caused

(3) Its effect on your: self-esteem; personal or sex relations; pride; security; ambitions; pocket book

(4) Where we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. 

-- Often we actually do the first three columns without a problem, and this alone fuels negative resentment. The REASON that column four is so important, is that while we have no control over other people, institutions, past wrongs, etc...the ONE THING that we DO have the ability to change is ourselves. For EACH area that we can find our role, (no matter how obscure), we then gain the ability to bring about change in this area of our life.

The way this is accomplished is through the act of  sincere regret/remorse; ownership and accountability before God and having reliance upon God - which will happen in the Fifth Step. (Both contributing greatly to our growth in intimacy with God and others)

NEXT we look at the area of FEAR:

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Fear:    To be afraid or frightened of; To be uneasy or apprehensive about.

There are 3 types of Fear:

(1) Guilt:   Fear of the past, (of what will happen because of something I've done - personal responsibility), and is not to be confused with Remorse which is: moral anguish arising from remorse for past misdeeds /regret

(2) Dread:  The fear of the future  (the unknown)

(3) Procrastination:  To put off / Fear of failure

In looking at this again, one might question - 'How can fear be a good thing?' bur the truth is, that God, (in His wisdom), gave us this emotional instinct of fear for the purpose of protection. Without balance, we will not use fear for this purpose, but will end up 'over using' it - and rather than protecting ourselves, we will instead do one of two things: over react (OR) under react.     

In the Bible there is a book called Job, who had this to say about fear: What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me; I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.  

**ALL fear is rooted in our lack of faith - A faith that will grow as we take this journey with God**  

The healthy use of fear is when it leads to COURAGE, that bring about the ACTION needed to RESOLVE what is causing the fear to begin with. The reason that this instinctual God given fear is good, is that it causes us to even take action in going to our Creator for solutions - thereby growing in intimacy with Him.

The inventory will be done the same way except that it will be listing the person, institution or principles that caused the fear.

WHAT TO DO:   

(1)  (When you're ready) Commit to daily work on your inventory sheets.

***This should NOT be done until you have thoroughly completed steps 1-2 AND have an accountability partner/sponsor/ OR someone you trust to talk to***

(2)  EACH TIME before writing on your inventory, pray: God, I ask that you would give me the wisdom, ability and courage to recall and write what You would bring to my mind. I offer myself to you completely and thank you for your faithfulness in this process ~ Amen    

(c) 2015-2024 Rebecca Balko                                                      

Preparing for Action ~ STEP 3

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Step 3:     Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

 Step three is about making a decision to turn our will and lives over to God - (and additionally noting that it is “as we understand God”). In order to work this step and get maximum results, it is very important to gain a thorough understanding of both the definitions and concepts contained in it. Of the 12 steps, this particular principle is probably the most misinterpreted and misunderstood because it is often understood to mean that: (I) our “will” and “lives” are actually being turned over and (II) the reference to “as we understood Him” means a determination of “who” God is.  The result of this misunderstanding has often caused unnecessary frustration/confusion, preventing some from going any further in the 9 action steps that follow. We are going to look at a breakdown of this principle and by the end you will have a clear understanding of this step. 

Anytime we are about to take action in an area of our lives of any importance, it isn’t something that we just “impulsively” jump into blindly, but rather, we prepare by determining: (1)What it is that’s needing to be done AND  (2)What actions have to be taken to meet that need (a plan) 

The first thing to know is that Step 3 is the last of the “making up your mind” steps. What do I mean by that? Well, it is not until Step 4 that “action” begins being taken as part of what is called “Step Work”, as opposed to what is done in Steps 1-3. In these first 3 principles, (unlike those that will follow), we are in a process of: (a) gathering information and (b) making up our mind regarding the plan we are going to follow. 

The information that has been gathered in the first two steps is as follows:

 

STEP 1:           A personal lack of power in particular area(s) and the identification of unmanageability / damage the area(s) of life mentioned

STEP 2:           A choice has been made to suspect that God is present and that God could (if                                           invited) provide wholeness.

So let us now look at the first important word in Step 3 and that is the word:

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 Decision :  To gather facts involving a problem and then conclude which  facts we are going to act   upon. 

 Now that we have established what “made” us come “to” the decision, (past tense)… we look at what it is we’ve made the decision to do: To “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God”. To many who’ve been raised in, or attended the protestant or non-denominational churches – this sounds like an invitation for salvation. It is important to understand that while this doesn’t conflict with that invitation…this is not what is being referred to here. To better understand this, let’s take a closer look at word meanings:

Will                       is our thinking and direction 

Lives                      Is our actions 

Our actions come out of our thoughts: So if we want new lives, we will need new minds. We cannot be “self-directed” AND have a different life. We cannot have new minds on our own – this must come from God. For me to TRULY choose to give God my struggle(s) with _________________ I must first give up power, and for me to do this, I must FIRST decide to turn over my will (thinking).

 Our WILL & Our LIVES:   Our “lives” are our ACTIONS. Our “will” is our THINKING; So deciding to turn over our will and our lives means that we are turning over our thinking and our actions. Turning over our lives means to give up the old lifestyle that has not been successful. If we can give up our direction, we can then receive new direction – what was once unmanageable can become manageable!

 EXAMPLE:           Bad thinking                       Bad Action                        Bad life (painful area of our                                                                                                                           life that we can’t move past)

                                Good thinking                   Good Action                       Good life (the life we                                                                                                                                    desire to have)

 An important reminder: We are NOT actually turning over our “will” and “lives” at this point! If we could, wouldn’t we have done it a long time ago? Aside from simply the struggle of being “human” – there are a myriad of reasons that we struggle with turning over these two things to God. (Past hurts, mistrust, uncertainty, etc…) What we are doing in this principle is simply making a DECISION to turn our thinking and actions over, allowing GOD to then replace them with better thinking and actions.

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Before we finish with the last part of this principle, I want to bring attention to the word “care” – as in: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God…

 Care       To be concerned or interested; To provide needed assistance or watchful supervision

When we are turning over our thinking, direction and actions over to “the care of God”, we are giving it:  (1) to our God, who is certainly concerned and interested in our well-being AND (2) to an infinite God – the ONLY one who can truly provide the needed assistance and supervision that we need.

Now we approach the final part of this principle - God as we understood Him (or of our understanding)

 As perhaps a person of faith, it can be easy to disregard this portion of the principle, because of thinking – “After all, if I already believe in God...I KNOW who He is!” But the truth is that this is not the only interpretation. It is important to know that although we may be in communion with Him…it does not necessarily mean that our understanding OF Him is where it needs to be in order to involve God in EVERY aspect of our life.

We do not believe or understand exactly like another person about ANYTHING. So our understanding of the personality of God can vary greatly and in most cases we need it to grow. Every single thing a person does, they do it through their individual conception, and our actions are greatly influenced by our conceptions.

 Conception        A notion; idea; concept

 EXAMPLE:    If my conception of God, (God as I understand Him), is that of a punishing and                                        vengeful God - I am likely not going to go to Him about areas of sin in my life; If my                              conception is that he is a busy God, I am likely not going to want to bother him with                                things I feel I can do myself; If my conception is that he is status update God…I will                              likely only go to him with my progress reports.

 Although most would widely accept that God (the Creator of all things seen and unseen) knows us, we tend to not know Him on a personal level nearly as much!

 EXAMPLE:  Have you ever had a best friend? Did they BEGIN as a best friend or did they begin as an acquaintance? How did they go from being an acquaintance to a best friend? Did it happen fast or take time? What had to happen between the two of you during that time to reach best friend status?

God ‘as we understand Him’, is referring to ‘as we understand Him now’ (today) – and being able to be REALLY honest with ourselves re: where we are at with that at this point. Our journey in the steps to come, is the same process that was needed for our acquaintance to become our best friend - and the process continues for the rest of our days. This is the MOST personal relationship you will ever experience in your entire life and I am THRILLED to tell you that these 12 principles allow you to begin developing it on a daily basis for the rest of your life!

 What to do:  (This is something you can work on in your own time and if you would like a prayer – see #3)           

1. Look honestly at both your current conception of God’s personality & what you want to have  

2. Are you ready to make a decision to rely upon God as your pursue the actions steps to come?

3. Prayer: Father – I desire to know you more intimately and it is my will that you would guide and direct me in the steps to come – so that I might better have you in charge of my thinking and actions – Thank you – amen

©2015-2023 Rebecca Balko 

POWERLESS TO POWER ~ STEP ONE

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The 12 Steps are: 12 ACTION based applicable solutions to ALL of the problems we face in our lives. The foundation upon which these 12 principles rest is:     Willingness, Honesty and Open-Mindedness

Willingness: Doing those things that I do not feel like and/or want to do. Taking action contrary to my feelings. (If I wanted to…it would be called “eagerness” and thankfully there is no requirement to be eager)

Honesty: Honesty with one’s self. (Not referring to honesty with others…but rather an internal honesty)

Open-Mindedness:    Considering what I hear before trashing it as being worthless. (Does not mean blindly embracing what someone tells you – no matter how qualified they may be – But rather considering what someone says, regardless of how unqualified they may be.)          

Step 1:                

We admitted we were powerless over ______________ – that our lives had become unmanageable.

In this first step, an internal acknowledgement is made that my best efforts to control ___________ - failed; that in my own hands, using my own strength – those things I value and have valued the most, are to some degree, neglected and/or damaged as a direct result of ______________. It is in this step where the first “chip” is made in the exterior façade of “I’m FINE”, and where self-honesty is first used.

In this principle the very first act that must happen is that of “admitting”. While on the surface this may not seem a big deal, the truth is that if we confuse the word “admit” with the word “accept”…THEN it can be far more difficult to do. So let’s look at the difference in these two words:

Admit:            Confess to be true – typically with reluctance

Accept:           Believe or come to recognize as valid or correct

So thankfully, to begin this journey towards restoration of wholeness in our lives, we need not be at a place of “Acceptance” with our limitation(s), but rather only have so much as a “reluctant admission”.

Next we look at what it is exactly that we are admitting: That we are in fact POWERLESS over ____________. Powerless is a powerful word isn’t it?

Powerless:      Without Power

Powerful:       Having great power, force or authority

An absolute truth is that one can’t be Powerful and Powerless at the same time. So either you DO have the power over a situation or you DO NOT have power over a situation. (This is not to say you can’t 'affect' a situation by the exertion of your will) Understanding this truth, then allows for the journey to proceed!

Affect:            To act on or influence

The second part of this first principle is admitting that the byproduct of the on-going area of powerlessness – is the part(s) of your life that have become unmanageable. The word, “become” is important here, as it helps to clarify that those parts of your life being affected adversely aren’t “just happening”…but are the “by-product” or “result” of something.

Manageable:              Able to be managed or controlled    

Unmanageable:         Difficult or impossible to manage, control or use

It is important to note that the identification of powerlessness and the resulting unmanageability is NOT a negative thing…in fact it is the beginning of revelation, hope, freedom and wholeness! You see, as long as we only look at our problem areas and continue attempting to reassert “our solutions”, (the same ones that have failed to produce long term results and change), then we will continue to see the area(s) of unmanageability grow as our sense of hope dwindles. On the other hand – by identifying and admitting our area(s) of powerlessness and unmanageability – we then gain a footing to begin moving in a new direction, taking new action, thereby gaining new and lasting results!

As we close, a reminder note: It is in this step where the first “chip” is made in the exterior façade of “I’m FINE”, and where self-honesty is first used. How often do you say, (in reply to someone asking how you are doing), “Oh – I’m fine”? Seriously, how likely is it that you could have an arm lopped off, your car wrecked and your house burned down and you would STILL answer that question ~ “Oh – I’m fine” ?? Really quick I want to give you an acronym for “fine” and encourage you to use this as a tool to build upon in communicating to yourself and others “how you are doing”: 

F          -           Frustrated

I           -           Insecure

N         -           Nervous

E         -           Exhausted

 In closing: Ultimately it is our choice whether we use new solutions with new results or continue to try and make old broken solutions that don’t work – work. The truth is, the goal should be to strive in the area of new solutions, even if you hang on to the old ones. If you will, you’ll find that the new solutions you gain will cause you to be more likely to let go of those that don’t.

 What to do: (This is something you can work on in your own time and I encourage you before starting and after finishing to give yourself time for prayer and meditation) 

1. What is it in YOUR life that you have tried to control, but realize you are powerless over? 

2. In what way(s) has this caused unmanageability in your life?

 

 ©2015-2023 Rebecca Balko  

 

TANGELOS

 

It was 1985 on a warm humid spring morning in the small southeastern town of Marbury, Alabama. Early morning fog rested just atop the bean fields across an old dirt road, while the piercing sound of Periodical Cicadas, (13 Year Locusts), filled the air with their endless song just outside the sliding glass doors of the small wooden blue house which sheltered myself and thirteen others. On our side of the house there was one counselor and six of us girls with one bathroom...(you heard me right). On the other side of the house were the house parents and their 4 kids. I had arrived to live there after a relatively long stay on the psychiatric floor of a hospital in Birmingham, AL and a not so long stay at a secondary treatment program following that.

But let me back up a bit. I had been placed in a double lock down psychiatric unit following a lengthy binge of cocaine, vodka and pills, which left me both homicidal and suicidal. In route to end my life, with a loaded gun and suicide note, an intervention, (which I had viewed as an abduction), by my family occurred, which resulted in my admission to the hospital for an extended visit. Once being transferred to a less secure wing, my family spoke to me about a Christian Girl’s Home that I should consider going to with a 1 year free program. I wanted no part of it. Upon leaving the hospital my parents had been given a grim prognosis that they needed to get me placed on disability, put me in a group home and that I would never be capable of functioning independently.

Following the hospital, I was admitted to a secondary treatment program where I lasted only a few weeks. One day I became aware that my mouth was telling one story, while my mind was planning something totally different – how to get out and use. My level of functioning was very low and I found myself unable to verbalize the fear I was experiencing. As I sat in my room I found a Bible and hoped that it would somehow give me direction with the “open and point method”. So I opened it up with my eyes closed and pointed my finger, which landed on Psalm 69: 1-20 and saw before my eyes the words for exactly what I was feeling. I read it out loud, as they were the only words I could speak as a prayer to a God I had long since run from. Upon finishing, the name of that girl’s home came into my mind like a flashing billboard. I ran downstairs, (just as crazy as could be), saying the name of the home, (Cannan Land), over and over and over – along with - “Call my mom! Call my mom!” My counselor did and off I went to the girl’s home.

I arrived with a cigarette in each hand, having smoked several packs on the ride down, being it was a non-smoking program. Getting out of the car, the pastor of the home came up with a big smile and told me my life was going to change. I took his statement with cynicism thick enough you could have cut it with a knife – but I was at that moment, willing to go to any lengths. However as days passed, filled with “group” morning prayers and multiple Bible studies each day I was fast reaching my limit. The tipping point came on this particular morning as our counselor declared that we could pray and ask God for things that mattered to us and if we did so believing He would answer our prayers. Well, there it was…I had reached my limit and I thought, “THAT IS IT! I’m taking her down!”

Now before I go any further, let me say that this program was fully supported by donations and the income of the pastor and his wife. It was during this time that some pretty negative issues had been becoming public knowledge with a certain television evangelist, resulting in, (apparently), a drop in donations to faith based programs. As a result we had not had fruit to snack on in a good while and being that this program also didn’t allow any “sugar products”…I was really missing sweet fruits.

So back to the story:  Upon our counselor’s previously mentioned claim I spoke up and called her on it. I said, “Oh really? Anything we pray for, you’re saying that God will answer it?” To which she said, “If you are willing to believe and trust Him, yes that is what I’m saying. Do you want to pray for something Rebecca?” Feeling very defiant towards this woman and her claims, as well as attempting, (with what little faculties I had), to think of something that would surely prove her wrong ~ I said, “As a matter of fact I do – let’s ask God to bring us fruit!” She replied, “OK, let’s pray!” and all the girls bowed their heads. I thought, “No! This was TO EASY…to possible!” So abruptly I said, “STOP! Wait! I want to be more specific – let’s pray for oranges!” The counselor didn’t skip a beat and said, “No problem – oranges it is!” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I thought, “The only reason they are acting like this is because it’s not that impossible!” My heart pounding and mind racing I said, “STOP!! No! I want to change it…let’s pray for Tangerines!” (Surely this would get them!) But no…not this lady and certainly not this group of girls – incredibly they actually bowed their heads to start praying. I just couldn’t take it anymore – every bit of anger, bitterness, fear and frustration bubbled up at one time and I screamed, “STOP IT! STOP IT! I want to make it REALLY specific…I want to pray for TANGELO’S!”

For those of you who’ve never enjoyed the experience of tasting this delicious fruit or perhaps never even heard of it ~ A Tangelo, (also known as a Honeybell), is a hybrid of a tangerine (Mandarin Orange) and a Grapefruit (closely related to the Pomelo). The Honeybell citrus fruit is believed to have originated in Southeast Asia around 3,000 years ago, while the hybrid Tangelo it’s self is said to have been first made by Dr. Walter T. Swingle (Florida) in 1897. Tangelo’s are best known for their easy to remove peel and, (when ripe), their high concentration of juice and I LOVED them!!!

But I digress…returning to the moment that changed my life:

They all just stared at me, initially saying nothing. Feeling quite proud of myself, I was certain that I had made them all realize the foolishness of this “exercise in prayer”. The counselor softly said to me, “Are you sure that is it?” Quite defiantly and with a sarcastic grin I said, “Oh yeah, I’m sure.” Incredibly they all bowed their heads and prayed for me to get my tangelos. I couldn’t believe it! While at the table following the Bible study meeting, a horn honked outside. The girls and our counselor went outside and as I followed I observed a rather large man in worn out denim overalls explaining to our counselor that he had produce to unload, had heard about our program and thought we might like it. I noticed the other girls, many of whom were giggling, were all looking directly at me. My counselor said, “Come on down here Becky – you need to see this.” As I rounded the corner of the truck what I saw caused such a reaction that my entire body began to tremble and my skin to perspire…there before my eyes ~ was an entire truck load of TANGELOS! My head spinning and heart racing, I could only think to do one thing ~ I ran for my bedroom and fell on my knees telling God “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! ~ I believe! I believe!!

Yes, I’m a firm believer that God, in all of His goodness, meets us right where we are and often with good humor. Needless to say, after that day I became willing to believe He could restore even my mind…and you know what? “He did!”

 

 ©2012-2022 Rebecca Balko

Identifying Beliefs ~ Step 2

 Step 2:   Came to believe that God (who is greater than ourselves) could restore us to sanity.

Step two is about having a suspicion that God can restore wholeness.  (This is different than having “knowledge” that this is true, based on results attained by actions that have been taken).  ALL spiritual growth begins with the cornerstone of first having a suspicion that taking certain actions will somehow be beneficial to us. *In other words…to take Step 2 it is not necessary to “know” or have “faith” that (A) Got will OR (B) that God can restore sanity (wholeness)…rather it is only needed to have a ”belief” (i.e. ~ a suspicion) that it is “possible.” It is in this step that willingness comes into play.

We look now at the first part of Step 2: Came to believe…and here there are definitions to understand the context of what IS happening and what is NOT happening as this step is taken.  It can be said that when we decide to begin the steps we first “came” into a place of learning. As we proceeded we “came to” a place of understanding. To better understand this, we will look at definitions and scripture to put this principle in context.

The very beginning of Step 2 is stating, (not in the present tense – we are coming to – but rather in the past tense), that “We came to…”.

Came to          -           To waken; To raise up; Arrive at; Reach a conclusion

Why would it read this way? Because before we approached this step we determined two important things:

 (1) The area in which we have powerlessness

(2) The unmanageability in our lives, resulting from that powerlessness

This information brings us from a point of lacking reason to hope for real change, to a place of “coming to” or waking up! Next we look at what we are waking up to…and that is to BELIEVE. It is important here to unpack this word and how in this context it differs from the word “faith”.

Suspicion         -           A feeling (or belief) that something is true; a belief

Believe            -           To think/suspect that something is true or correct

OR

Belief               -           The feeling of being certain that something exists or is true

To believe (or have belief) – is to have a suspicion strong enough that it results in taking action. When Step 2 says, “We came to believe…” it is saying that we have reached a point where we have begun learning information, hearing about and gaining hope from others, and have a suspicion that moving forward will be good for us.

ALL spiritual growth begins with the cornerstone of “belief”…because we do not pursue spiritual matters unless we FIRST suspect they will be beneficial.

 On the other hand we have the word “faith” - definition:

 Faith                -           A high degree of trust or confidence; requires action

When there is not a clear understanding in the subtle difference between the words “belief and faith” in the context of this important step, it can cause misunderstanding and a lack of progress in a forward direction:  

 You are looking at the area(s) you have identified in your life that you:

(a) Are powerless over

(b) Have unmanageability with

At a point, you begin, ( or began), to realize that though you’ve tried many times to come to terms with an area(s) (or) to overcome it all together – it has been with limited, to no lasting success. When this is the reality experienced, we cannot yet have a “high degree of trust or confidence” that this new effort is going to bring about lasting change (and) the “actions” we’ve taken up until now have not resulted in the long term outcome we have been seeking.

So by definition we are not at a place yet of “faith”. In fact, what we are dealing with is sometimes actually “doubt”:

 Doubt              -           A feeling of uncertainty; to feel uncertain about

Thankfully, to proceed in Step 2 it is not necessary to yet have “faith” (by the definition given) – but rather to simply “believe” (which allows room to simultaneously be experiencing doubt in the midst of it), and continue forward through the steps, which will change what began as simply a belief, transforming it to faith in action!

Next we move to the middle portion of Step 2: …that God (who is greater than ourselves) could restore us to sanity.

Now, it is safe to say that intellectually we all know that God is greater…but then if we knew it to our very core – would we ever take things back that we give to Him in an effort to fix them ourselves? NOPE! But then that is the dilemma of being human – just as a child will think that they don’t need their parent, so too will we struggle with our Creator God. It is helpful to have a point of context that enables us to understand better and in a “results based” manner, this truth and this is one:       

Mankind is finite: Having bounds or limits; Subject to limits or conditions; Limited

God is infinite: Immeasurably great; indefinite; unlimited; boundless; Limitless

The next portion of Step 2 is…could restore us to sanity: “Could” ~ which means it’s up to YOU - to invite Him into your situation.

Restore           -           Overhaul; Reinstate; Repair; Reestablish; Rebuild; Bring back

Last we take a look at the final aspect of Step 2 which references “Sanity”. First we will look at two words:

Sanity              -           Which comes from the Latin word – sanitus – which means “complete or whole”

Insanity           -           Which comes from the Latin word – insanitus – “incomplete or not whole”                                   

Another common definition of insanity is: Repeating the same failed actions and expecting different results.

Putting all of this information together now: Step 2 – We came to suspect that God (who is greater than ourselves) could restore wholeness to our lives.

What to do: (This is something you can work on in your own time and if you would like a prayer – see #3)

 

1. What areas of your life are not whole?
2. Do you suspect that an infinite God can restore wholeness to you?
3. Prayer: God, in your infinite mercy and grace I come to you believing that you can restore wholeness in this area of my life and I ask that you would be with me in the steps ahead – Thank you – amen

   

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