Stomping Out the Stigma ~ One Mile At a Time

 

Stomping Out the Stigma ~ One Mile At a Time

Do you recognize this guy? If you've been around Mandala any time at all, most likely you do! But for those who don't know, this is Tim Roberto and once you meet him, you will not soon forget him. Tim is a charasmatic, personable and soulful guy with a huge heart. Once you begin a conversation with him you are guarenteed to walk away with a bit more than you arrived with. Tim embarked on an incredible journey that was born out of a moment with God in a private walk that led to months of training and all culminating in a 20 mile walk from Boynton Beach, FL to Deerfield Beach, FL, to raise awareness in 'Stomping Out the Stigma' that comes with both addiction and mental illness and raising proceeds for a wonderful organization: 1 Brother 1 Sister, (which provides training and resources to First Responders in the areas of addiction and mental health).  I am priveleged to work with Tim and to have been given the opportunity to sit down with him and get the story of how this call came to be...

(Question:)  So Tim, what happend that led you to accomplish this goal and to raise money and awareness for Addiction and Mental Health?

(Tim)  It began one day while I was on a walk with me and God. I was coming up on my 15th Anniversary from active addiction. I wanted to do something that would matter and comemorate this and God told me, "Take it back to where you got sober", and for me, that was in Deerfield. 

(Question:)  Wow ~ 15 years in recovery is awesome! What led you to make that decision?

(Tim)  I had been in active addiction for 33 years prior to that. I'd say my pain finally outgrew the fear in my life. Thank God for the pain!

(Question:)  After you had this experience with God, did you begin planning this event
right away after that?

(Tim)  No. I learned long ago to not just jump when ideas come, but to wait and give it time ~ so that is what I did. I had been jogging some time later and and saw how many miles I had run and about then another thought came to me, (I know from God), that said, "Tim, I love you ~ you have time to bring awareness." and then the words "First Responders" came to me. But it still wasn't clear and I wasn't trying to hurry. 

(Question:)  So what happened that made it all come together for you?

(Tim) About a week later I was at the Beachcomer at a funraiser dinner for First Responders being hosted by Karyn Hurley, who is the Co-Founder of 'One Brother One Sister' and who lost her own brother, (a Firefighter and Veteran), due to addiction and suicide. I realized as I listened to her, that THIS is who I was to do this for ~ still gives me chills how God works. But I STILL didn't take action on it just yet. 

(Question:)  Did you go talk to her about your thoughts at that event?

(Tim) Actually, no. I was still waiting on direction. I didn't know Karyn and didn't feel it was time to approach her. About another week later I was in Port St. Lucie for the opening of a detox center and saw her again there. I felt this was the sign and so I approached her and explained everything that had happened leading up to this moment.

(Question:)  That is so crazy that she was there. So what happened? How did she respond to what you shared with her?

(Tim) She cried and so did I! There was another person at that event, a friend of mine named Deena, (who is a therapist), and without hesitation she said, "I'm doing the food! Me and my sister." I said, "I don't know how many people could end up coming." To which she just replied, "Doesn't matter ~ We are cooking!" 

(Question:)  What was it like putting this event all together?

(Tim) It all all really just came together very easily. I got several speakers that included a Trauma Therapist; Recovering First Responder, a Pastor and the Family member of a First Responder with addiction. They did a tremendous job!  We had over 50 people come to this first event and raised over $6000.00!

  

(Question:)  What was training like? Had you ever done anything like this before?

(Tim) I had never done anything like this before and training was pretty intense. I trained from January until April. About 2 weeks prior to the event it was suggested that I give my feet a break and stop training until event time. About a week prior I did that - however that didn't work out to well because my feet ended up pretty blistered. 

(Question:)  What were the people like who came and participated in the walk?

(Tim) They were all different people. Some were like me and this was all new to them. Some traveled to come do this walk and were really good at it.

(Question:)  Is this part of how you keep your own recovery strong?

(Tim) Part of the recipe for remaining in recovery rests in service to others for sure.

(Question:)  Do you plan on this being a one time event, or do you plan on making it annual?

(Tim) Oh, I FOR SURE plan on this happening again next year...however I'm thinking of something more like a 5K, so that more people will come join in this life changing cause!

If you would like to be a supporter of: One Brother One Sister, you can use this link: Addicted Communities Coalition

THE CORNERSTONE

 

Photo by: Max Oh

Most of us go through our lives desiring to do the right things by: taking care of our responsibilities; accomplishing goals we set for ourselves or those set for us by others; caring for our families; contributing to our communities; doing well at our jobs and so on. Yet, although we desire to do these things, (with or without success), often our exterior may look fairly well, while in truth, our personal journey can often feel very much like hauling around a bag of rocks that rests heavily upon our backs. Inside of this bag, each rock represents various pains such as guilt, shame, remorse, regrets, worry, anger, fear, pride, secret hurts, broken relationships, shattered dreams and so much more – ALL heavy and burdensome. Indeed this bag has weighed upon our hearts, our minds and our very souls…drastically hindering any lasting or internal progress. These rocks created a constant feeling of being pulled down and at times, of drowning in a relentless sea of hopelessness, creating an often debilitating fear of being overcome by the weight of it all, as if even one more thing would surly crush our very existence.

Photo by: Matteo Badini

The solutions that we come up with on our own, are often derived from a sickened state of delusional thinking to have just one more drink…one more drug…one more game to gamble on…one more binge and purge…one more purchase that we can’t afford…one more reckless relationship…one more hour blocking life out by immersing ourselves on the internet, watching TV or playing video games - rather than using that precious time talking to and enjoying our children, spouse, friends and living life… the list can go on. Each time believing that THIS TIME our solution would make our bag of rocks become a little lighter or perhaps even go away all together. Ultimately though, the truth found was that with each drink, each drug, each gamble, each bite, each purchase, each escape, etc…we added another rock to our personal bag of burdens and continued to spiral downward.

Photo by: Chang Duong

Today however, there is good news in that, there lies before each man and woman - a choice to live a NEW LIFE! One in which the bag of rocks can be forever left behind, because we are no longer alone in this journey. Around all of us, (no matter where we live), there are communities of all kinds, filled with people who desire to travel this journey of life “together” rather than alone. By connecting with other people we find that the load is made easier when shared with another. Not only this, but there is a God who is more than willing to remove that bag of burdens from our backs and replace it with a single rock, for us to instead place as our life’s cornerstone.

Do you know what a cornerstone is or its significance?

The cornerstone is also known as the “foundation stone”. It is the first stone that is placed in the construction of a masonry foundation. It’s important because all of the other stones will be set in place from it and ultimately establish the position of the entire structure that is being built. You will often find that the cornerstone of certain buildings will have some sort of engraving upon them which signify its importance and stand as a point of remembrance.

Photo by: Andrik Langfield

The beauty of this life is that as long as we are breathing air, we always have the right, the ability and the means by which to change…all that is needed to put it in motion is our willingness to stop trying to run the show by ourselves and do something different. TODAY can be that day…the day to lay down that bag of rocks you’ve been hauling around and replace it with a single rock – that will represent the cornerstone upon which you desire to construct this new life. Your cornerstone may be God, your child, your spouse, Hope, Freedom, Family, Love or anything else…it is for YOU to decide. I will suggest that you obtain a smooth stone, and write upon it what you’ve chosen - to motivate you, strengthen you and remind you daily why and upon what, you are building your new life. Then place it somewhere significant and visible to you daily, as a symbolic cornerstone, a point of remembrance to serve as a motivation to continue this new course and to commemorate this new and wonderful journey you have begun.

©2014-2022 Rebecca Balko

WINDS OF CHANGE

 

Photo by Annie Nyle on Unsplash

Standing in the sun room, my bare feet warmed by heat radiating from the Spanish tiles that had been absorbing the sun’s rays all morning through the windows just above, I gazed out and couldn’t help but think that summer seems to go by faster and faster with each passing year. My mother, (laughingly), told me some time back, “Rebecca it feels like that because you’re getting older!” There is some truth to that; I remember as a little girl it felt like time would just d-r-a-g on and on for what seemed like forever, leaving me consumed with the urge to hurry in order to not miss out on ANYTHING, yet as an adult I’ve found that time does seem to pass by just a bit faster each year, leaving me longing for it to slow down…if even the smallest bit, so as not to miss even one precious moment of anything. Of course, here in South Florida, it is a bit harder to differentiate seasons as they approach, due to the fact that there are no Autumn leaves, nor that particular “feel” the night air gets this time of year, when the coolness causes the air to feel somehow – cleaner. Most I notice an absence of the scent in the air itself that seemed to come with Fall during the years I lived in Alabama, which was the faint aroma of chimney smoke that drifted in the evening breeze.

Autumn was always a time of fascination and enjoyment growing up. I can remember as a child going into the woods, with all of the many colored leaves covering the ground like a woven patchwork quilt. When the wind would begin to pick up, the trees produced a sound much different than what you would hear in the summertime when they were full of their foliage. It was more of a haunted moaning, with echoed sounds that would pierce the lonesome silence of the forest, as their upper trunks bent with the shifting breeze, capturing the remaining leaves that had not yet fallen to blanket the ground that eagerly awaited them.

What interests me is “why” Fall occurs. You know, there actually is a reason for it and a purpose for why each aspect of nature happens as it does. For instance, in the fall, trees stop making chlorophyll and this causes the green leaves to fade, giving way to the red, yellow, orange and browns of autumn. Late in this season, most of the leaves of deciduous trees have fallen off. This happens because it is nature’s way of protecting the tree during the winter months. In the winter, trees get very little water through their roots. If the leaves were to remain, the water would then escape as water vapor through the leaves. This way the tree conserves water and thus stays alive.

Interesting, how much of our lives are reflected in the world around us, or better yet, how much the world around us reflects “life.” Just as the autumn winds usher in the changes of Fall, so do the winds of circumstantial change in our lives. We all are placed in circumstances from time to time that cause us to go through a variety of changes and growth in areas such as: Gratitude, Humility, Surrender, Acceptance and Forgiveness. Part of this process operates on much the same premise as the leaves that are shed from the trees during the fall. Circumstances cause our defects of character and shortcomings to rise to the surface ~ (Those things that we’ve held onto so tightly; that allowed us to cover up the areas of our lives that we didn’t want others to see). If we allow the recovery process to take its natural course, those defects and shortcomings will then begin to fall away from us. Much like that late Fall wind that blows through the almost barren trees, causing a creaking and lonesome howl, so too does that wind of change as it blows across our exposed “self,” after having allowed those things that once covered us and made us appear somewhat bigger, stronger and unaffected than we really were, too fall away.

But although this moment can be most uncomfortable, a much greater purpose is being served! Without being barren, the trees could face destruction and even death, due to their need to absorb and retain water through their roots in order to survive winter. This same process is necessary in our own lives. Many of the instinctual emotions that make up our humanness, such as: Resentment, Fear, Pride and Sex – are also laden with defects of character and shortcomings that cause us conflict and pain, and which need removal. Were this to never happen, we could also face our own destruction, and even death. By allowing the wind of healing recovery ~ Willingness, Honesty and Open-Mindedness ~ to blow over us, we are able to be stripped of what hinders our spiritual growth, allowing our “roots” to not only absorb life giving water, (Or, if you will, – a connection with God), but to better retain those God-given qualities of Love, Patience, Tolerance, Courage, Humility and Wisdom ~ that will sustain us through the difficulties and challenges that lie ahead, causing us to achieve growth and become stronger.

I love this journey and I am humbled by the grace which has allowed the opportunity I’ve been given to partake in it. While I am not “eager” for change, I am excited by the blessings I know will come as a result of it.

©2009-2021 Rebecca Balko